Get The Skinny

I've become one of those people I absolutely dread. The ones I swore to myself I'd never become. The ones...yeah, I think I'll stop right there with the repetition and I'll set the scene for you. You're in Starbucks, Costa or wherever you get your coffee. Frankly, if you aint getting your coffee from these two places then I don't think you're drinking coffee at all then! Kidding. Failed attempt at humour aside, you're at a coffee shop or cafe and the line is typically long. People making thought-out decisions about what they want while waiting and the speed at which orders are taken is quick as a result thereof. However, the effective system is tampered with. In fact, it's broken to such an extent that it becomes irrecoverable. The break in the cycle comes in the form of the people who despite being acutely aware of the long line, still choose to take a lifetime describing all the things they want or in this case, don't want in their coffee. Taste and sheer deliciousness to you and me but sugar and the calories that derive therefrom, to them. Not only do they drain time with their pleasure-drained orders but they also happen to annoy the rest of the customers with their anxiety over whether the person behind the till got their order right.

Bleh bloody bleh.

And amazingly, I've become one of those people. For the past three months, I've been consuming skinny this, skinny that and soya this, soya that. It's an abomination. I've grown accustomed to hearing the moans and groans that arise when I make my specific and special order. I'm trying to be healthy I say! Skinny even, as most of the beverages I drink will tell you. The sad part is, I don't see myself stopping because as far as Starbucks and Costa goes, these skinny versions taste quite nice. Bizarre for something that's allegedly healthy. I'll probably stop my ways soon. When I see a tabloid picture of the Olsen twins in all their skinny jeans, boho bed-linen and skinny-soya-decaf-latte-extra shot of caffeine glory. I love me some pretentiousness but not to the extent that would see me attempt to emulate the kids that starred in 'Full House' or 'Passport to Paris'. My aspirations can't possibly be that high.

Cheerio :)